But when I lose my temper I find it difficult to forgive myself. I feel I've failed. I can be calm in a crisis in the face of death or things that hurt badly. I don't get hysterical which may be masochistic of me.
I'm 36 and if I met a woman of my own age and married her I'd also be marrying her former life her past. It might be OK for some people - I don't want to judge it or anything - but it's not for me. It would destroy my creativity.